I’ll say it. What a deadly boring page. I feel like, this is where my abilities as a cartoonist fail. These supposedly melodramatic or emotional moments. Without my usual comedy I feel like things start to breakdown.
I did all that work trying to render perspective in the second panel. And all those little bricks in the other panels. But the characters themselves are feel flat and they don’t really carry the dialogue.
I should have done more with the exaggerated iconography. The “3″, the downward arrows. These are the kind of thing I do all the time in say Life of Vice. See, check out a scene with a similar emotional tone
It just feels so much more dynamic. Some more cartooning would have made the page funnier, or at least more energetic.